Advice? I'm really not sure what I'm even doing here.
I've never traveled to another country before, other than to visit family in Taiwan. My family never encouraged it, so while others went and studied abroad and visited other countries, it never occured to me that I could do similar amazing-sounding trips too - that knowing the language isn't necessary, and all that's required is the time, money, and desire to travel. After a breakup, I decided now was the time to live my life and travel! The few good friends I have don't like to travel, so I decided to take my first solo trip. I chose Canada, as it's relatively close to the US and people still speak English. I booked roundtrip tickets to Montreal and an Airbnb for a week, made a basic itinerary, and looked up couchsurfing events to attend.
With luck, the night I flew in (yesterday) there was this rather large couchsurfing party going on so I attended, and made an effort to chat with several people despite how I am usually quiet. Most of the people were locals, and I planned on meeting up with some of them to go to a festival going on today. I also got a couple of people's contact info, with offers to meet up sometime this week.
By the time I got home, however, I was thoroughly drained as I am usually very introverted and making conversation with those I don't know is quite difficult for me. I was also unsure of my trip, as many people commented that a week was much too long to spend just in Montreal, and how other people spend a week in Europe and see so much and even visit a few countries in comparison. Originally my excitement for traveling was half about meeting new people and perhaps making experiences with them, so finding that I was so drained after one night and not even sure I had the energy to attempt and socialize with strangers for the rest of the week had me questioning what I really wanted out of this trip.
This morning has been my first day exploring the city and I can't help but ask "what am I doing here." I imagine when with other people there's a shared excitement to explore new places and that going from one site to another is a bit of an adventure, but by myself it feels as if I might as well be spending just another day at home, except in a different location. I don't feel excitement at all, and I certainly don't feel like I'm having any kind of adventure despite visiting the tourist sites. I skipped going to the festival today with people due to feeling so stressed by the thought of more social interaction (and feeling completely out of my element, as everyone seems extremely social and talkative in contrast and I'm unable to drink alcohol) that I had no energy. Also, since I can't drive I looked up buses to travel to nearby cities but all are sold out by now or too costly, so I'm just in Montreal for the week.
I can't help but feel like I'm doing something very wrong - so many people on here talk about how every day was an adventure, all the fun experiences (however short) with others that they met on their trips, how even if they were usually introverted the freedom of knowing you'd probably never see each other again made them comfortable just being themselves... yet here I am, with some sort of mental block maybe, where I feel just as awkward and uncomfortable around strangers as ever despite making the effort to be around them and be social, and with no excitement or sense of adventure here to speak of.
Submitted May 20, 2018 at 08:31PM by Milkribbon https://ift.tt/2LjcRua
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