It's my first ever solo trip and I'm not enjoying myself at all
I checked into the hostel 6 days ago and thought I should first try to explore the city and for the first 3 days I did but it wasn't that exciting. I don't care much about art and culture and sightseeing so maybe I picked the wrong thing to do. It felt like I was just feigning interest. It left me with nothing to do on day 4. Just hanging around the hostel seems really awkward so I decided to go to get breakfast and go to the library because that's what I do at home before class. But that's not what I came for obviously.
So I went shopping for a bit (all the same stores we have at home) and went to dinner (which made me feel really.. alone) and went out to a bar in hopes of meeting people. So I stepped into the bar and people were all sort of caught up in each other or their own group - I didn't really know how to approach people or start a conversation. So instead I danced for a while but dancing alone, again, made me feel really lonely and weird. I started drinking more and more, to get some courage and not feel like shit basically. It helped, I got to talking with some people and they were like "are you really all by yourself" so I said yeah and asked them where they were from etc and they said from around here.. I said cool and they said come join our group, which was nice and I thought it was going way I'd hoped it would, but next there was nothing again. I felt uncomfortable and.. not exactly excluded but just not included I guess. Everyone did their own thing again and I couldn't really get any words in. So I awkwardly laughed along with people and that was it.
Day 5 I had a concert booked and it sorta went like the bar except that no one talked to me at all and the times I tried talking to people it was like "nice meeting you, gotta go back now, bye'. I tried to enjoy the concert but I was so selfconscious about being there all alone whilst everyone else was having fun with other people.
I was supposed to be here for 2 weeks but I'm close to tears because I simply feel awful and out of place.
Then again, how could I have expected something exciting and interesting to happen when I'm not excited or interesting myself.
It's just that when I come to these subs I see everyone having the time of their life and I thought I could make it happen for myself as well, but I'm not that outgoing "making friends with everybody" person.
I did take some nice pictures and I liked the traveling/being on the road itself, so I'll try to keep those positive thoughts, but apart from that I'm pretty sad and lonely right now, and mad at myself for not having a good time.
Submitted September 24, 2017 at 08:50PM by kooal http://ift.tt/2ymJJuC
0 Response to "It's my first ever solo trip and I'm not enjoying myself at all"
Post a Comment