Just got back late last night from a wild crazy solo trip. Only the second solo trip since the divorce and lots of fun! Thought I would recap here. Had a week without the kids so thought I would spend New Year's Eve in Vegas and then rent a car and drive somewhere warm. First plane was oversold so they needed volunteers to get bumped and take a $500 voucher. I forgot about that, I always wanted to do that when we were married but she insisted no, we had places to be! Well I didn't, and Vegas wasn't going anywhere.

I ended up taking a plane through Chicago an hour and a half later and the next flight was oversold as well, I got $500 more in vouchers. Arrived in Vegas 6 hours late but already up $1000! It was only 30 degrees in Vegas, freezing! I played some poker and didn't do a hotel the first night, just mostly gambled. Second day lost in poker so booked a hotel just east of the strip and decided to get some sleep. Took an Uber and the driver said on the way he would take me somewhere to get weed. Bought way too much weed, $55 worth because I wanted to try two kinds of edibles. Walked back to the hotel and saw a sign that said, "Paychecks cashed, $50 in slot credit" I thought, ugh, I don't want to be in Vegas anymore. Went to my hotel and took too many edibles 35 mg instead of 20 because I didn't want to take them on the plane.

I called a prostitute after taking the weed, ha, just typing that sentence freaks me out, grew up going to a Christian school and being in church all the time. Ive never done anything remotely close to that but the guys at the poker table said its fine, Google Asian Massage Parlor Outcall and ask for a "Nuru massage" which is code for "happy ending" and lay the money out, never discuss services. She said $200 and I put $200 out and then got all paranoid and was too high. Started obsessively checking the peep hole, stashed my wallet and passport and macbook behind the bed, and nervously waited.

When she finally got there she said "services were more" and eventually just gave me a 25 minute massage and told me to go to the ma-cheen and get $500 downstairs while she waited in my room. No fuckin way! She left, lesson learned, definitely!

Decided to expedite my travel plans and get the fuck out of Vegas to somewhere warm and used up all my vouchers on a trip to Cozumel Mexico that left New Years eve at 2:51am. Before I left I went to a concert with Dave Chappel and John Mayer on Sunday night and took more of the drugs, then passed out some of what I had left to some people at the concert and stashed the rest in the bushes and got on the plane.

Cozumel was amazing! 85 degrees and sunny pretty much the whole time. I just walked from the airport to my hostel downtown, it was a little over a mile. Stayed two nights in the $13 a night hostel which was just fine and went to the ruins and the lighthouse and went snorkeling a couple places, it was beautiful. Should have rented a scooter instead of using the taxis. Taxis were $20 each way and the third and fourth day I rented a scooter, talked him down to just $15 a day.

The last night I splurged and stayed in a 5 star resort called Secrets Aura Cozumel. It was beautiful! The food was like artwork. Still, I was wondering if it was the best decision. It was only $239 for the night after tax on Hotwire and I got to experience an all-inclusive resort but all the people there were rich Americans. Side note, I don't love rich people. Also, I found something I don't like more than rich people. Rich people's kids. Fuck those kids complaining about "fajitas again" at Playa Palancar. That was my nice meal you little shits! This resort didn't have kids but I saw a bunch on my travel to Cozumel and I may be generalizing but it seems like rich people's kids are assholes.

Have you guys ever solo traveled to an-all inclusive resort? What did you think? I kind of missed the authenticity of Mexico. When I was at the hostel away from the tourists and cruise ships and everything, every day was taco tuesday! Coke, chips, and two tacos and the lady said okay $3, I said, oh yeah! Also I went out to a local bar on New years night because I walked by and this lady was aggressively beating a pinata, I thought, oh this should be an experience. It was! 6 beers for a dollar, tequila shots for a dollar, dancing, and right after the pinata was done this guy goes, oh you American, you play some of your music! He pointed me to a computer and said you play! It just projected YouTube up on the wall and the music over the loudspeakers. Somehow I became the DJ of a neighborhood bar in Cozumel, Mexico for the night. I like to think I introduced Post Malone to Cozumel but I am sure they already knew!

Fun amazing solo trip, bummed to be back in cold Kansas City today but loved the experience! I remember cruising along the ocean road on my scooter heading toward the resort thinking, don't forget this moment, you are here right now and it will be gone soon, treasure this. Here's hoping you all have solo memories to treasure this year!